Chip Cruncher Part 1

This week I am going to be working on some stuff that is blog related but doesn’t involve posting. I thought I would take this time to tell an amusing story in a series of posts throughout the week. Please know that my intent in telling this story is not mean-spirited nor would I ever want to hurt anyones feelings. It was just a situation I dealt with at work that I really didn’t know how to deal with (well I probably DID know how to deal with it, I just chose not too because of my fear of confrontation). The person who is the chip cruncher  shall forever remain nameless. I have no hard feelings for them and really just thought this situation was humorous and want to share the humor. Mostly in hopes that you never have to go through it but if you do, you will learn from me what NOT to do.

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If you were facebook friends with me in the summer of 2010 onward, you probably already know most of the story. For those of you who were not…I give you…. The Chip Cruncher During the summer of 2010, I worked for a big corporate company that has lots of typical cubicles. One awesome day in June a whole bunch of us had to move from one side of the building to another and I got an sweet new cubicle that kind of sort of had a view of a window. The excitement was almost unbearable. Then, not to long after that, I realized I had a problem on my hand. A cube neighbor who had a passion for kettle chips. When I say “passion” I don’t mean, “why yes, I would like a small bag of chips to go with my sandwich for lunch”. I’m talking, alldayeverydaymorningafternoonandevening passion for kettle chips. Full sized bags. That she would eat in their entirety. Almost every day. Oh and btw….some of those 12 comments on that status included things like “give her a bag of marshmallows as a hint” and “go to her desk and crop dust her” and other such things. My friends are very creative. The first question everyone would ask me about chip cruncher (and I’m sure you might be thinking it as well) “Is she a BIG lady?” Surprisingly, no. She is a tiny little thing. No idea how she doesn’t weigh 300 lbs being that she puts away entire bags of chips at least three times a week, but I don’t see her eat much else, so maybe she is on the all Kettle chip diet. Maybe she knows something the rest of us don’t? Either way, she pretty much scarred me from eating anything crunchy at my desk for fear of certain hypocrisy. You might be thinking, oh c’mon, it couldn’t be that bad could it? Oh yes. it could. Imagine that repetitive sound, cruuuuunch, cruuuucch, cruuuuuuuunch for hours on end, never stopping, never taking a break. It was like nails on a chalkboard in a very quiet office for hours on end. Shiver. The really sad part for me is that we both sat on the end of an isle and she sat directly behind me. I didn’t know the person who sat directly next to her all that well so I couldn’t commiserate with them, and the other people who sat across the isle from us sat far enough away to be saved from the crunching. That meant it was pretty much me, myself and I that was the subject of all her crunching. Sad face. Often times I wondered about what must be going on at her desk crumb-wise. The horror. Even eating any type of chips your fingers instantly get salty/crumb-y and I have no idea how she did work/typed on her keyboard without having to wipe her hands or brush off the crumbs constantly. I honestly don’t know how she could work like that, but she must have figured out some magic trick. Maybe she wore gloves? Ahhh…that was a good week.   TO BE CONTINUED……

Tagged as: chip cruncher, funny story time