Chip Cruncher Part 2

For part one of the Chip Cruncher saga click here.

That will get you all caught up.

We left off with the chip cruncher gone on vacation. Soon after that I took a trip myself. And my friend Jill offered to help me out with my obvious withdrawal from all the constant crunching that I was missing out on.

Then a month later, the worst thing possible could happen. They multiplied.

I seriously contemplated going to QFC (local grocery store) and buying every bag of chips in the place. I knew it probably wouldn’t stop it completely but I had to do something. About this time people started commiserating with me.

Then another nightmare, #1 and #2 were oddly silent, so somehow (since I am obviously cursed) #3 made an appearance. #3 sat directly next to me. I would find out later that not only did she enjoy crunching occasionally, but she was a huge fan of gum popping and pistachio eating.

Kill me now.

After a pretty long hiatus, #1 decided to make an appearance. No idea why I called her “muncher” as opposed to “cruncher” in this post. My only guess is that my mind was numb from all the crunching and I just couldn’t think straight any more. I think by this time I was hearing munching and crunching at all times of the day and even on the weekends. It was like a ringing in my ear that wouldn’t go away.

At some point in this time frame #2 moved desks. Halleluia.

However, #3 began popping her gum consistently every day. At one point I popped my head over the desk and asked her if she was eating pistachios. It sounded like she was cracking them. She laughed and said “oh, am I being that loud with my gum? I’m sorry, my friends tell me all the time to stop my popping, but I just don’t realize I am doing it.” :/

I had a lot of people ask me why I didn’t just ask the chip cruncher or gum smacker if they could please stop. Kindly let them know that it was bothersome and could they keep it down. I considered this numerous times but never confronted either of them (in that direct of a manner) for a few different reasons.

1. I am not great at conflict. Makes me uncomfortable and I would rather suffer than instigate some sort of confrontational conversation.
2. If I would have addressed it right away in some sort of joking manner (sort of like what I tried to do with #3 and her gum popping) then that might have worked. “Hey _____, what ya munch in on over there? Sounds good!” So she would at least know that she was being loud enough for me to hear her and she might be more conscious of it. But I didn’t and by this point it seemed to be too late in the game to mention it now. It’s been a year and you’ve never said anything by now, why is it bothering you all of a sudden?
3. I didn’t know her ALL that well and I didn’t want to embarrass her or make her feel bad. I would much rather just take my frustration to Facebook for all the world to see.

At least I had a new Groupon obsession to comfort my aching ears.

TO BE CONTINUED

Tagged as: chip cruncher, funny story time